Confidence and Mental Game Hacks
Confidence and the Mental Game are things we all struggle with. Wolf-pack fighters especially struggle with this more than Tiger fighters, because the adults in our lives may have studiously trained us to be “Humble” and “Quiet,” and only praised us for Non-competitive behaviors. We have to learn Confidence as a unique skill, whereas some people just show up and already have it. NOT having it means we begin our fighting careers one step behind other beginners. So let’s work on that and train our Mental Games.
Here are Tia Gia’s Handy Mental Game/Confidence Hacks:
- Mindfulness Meditations. I use the app "Headspace" and highly recommend it. Over time this has allowed my brain to perceive a fight as it is happening, as if it's slow work, so I can actually see and remember what happened. That lets me walk off the field saying, "I stayed alive a really long time and hit five great parries, but in the end I could not fight my opponent's opening;" which is different than walking away saying, "Yep. John killed me. again. thought he would."
- Daily drills. Even just ten minutes of sword work per day, at home alone, made me feel more confident. I could walk into a tournament going "I know what I have practiced and I know the practice is fresh. If you put me in a situation where I need to (do this move), I know I can do it better than that couch-potato over there." Side benefit: Ten minutes a day will also boost your skills and abilities, and that will also lead to better results on the field, which will in turn, make you more confident . . .
- Watching video of my own fights. You'd be amazed how much of our own skills we ignore or overlook because we spend our whole bout worried about the outcome. Watching from the side you will see where you looked awesome and what you did well. You might even start to notice that you might have won more fights if your opponents had called the shots you hit them with . . .
- Rephrasing Self-Talk. Again, with the video thing. I used to walk off the field and say "I lost, I suck." but now I can go back and watch a video and say, "I almost had that one. My point was just two inches too far to the left to get his face! That's point control and I can FIX that. Next time, I'll kick that fighter's butt!" One of our Camp Rules is No Negative Self Talk. Pay attention to the feedback you give yourself and make a concerted effort to make it all positive or effective.
- Faking it. I walk onto the field with a swagger. I have a salute that makes me look like I can't wait to clobber someone. When my pairings are announced, I act excited and thrilled to be given a chance to fight this other person, no matter who it is. "I get to fight DUKE Hrafn? In front of an Audience? HELL YES!" (Over time, this has changed my mindset and now I really DO feel excited about certain pairings.) Sancha Galindo likens this to role-playing a confident character who is a badass fighter. Master Robin of Gilwell says, "Just ask yourself, what would Errol Flynn do in this situation, and then do that." There’s also this TED Talk: https://youtu.be/phcDQ0H_LnY
- Write stuff down. Every time something cool happens, write it down. Keep a running list of all the cool things that you've done. Re-read it before each practice and tournament. Keep adding to it. FOREVER.
- Stop hanging out with Assholes. If there is a person who consistently makes you feel bad about yourself, stop hanging out with them. I have a friend I love dearly, but I cannot be around him during tournaments because he says shit like “Ugh, that guy. even YOU could take him, Gia.” Instead, I hang out with the people who say things like “Whoa! You got so close to stabbing him in the face! You were off by two inches, but Damn, next time you’ll punk him!”
- Fight until you Can’t. Master Robert McPharlan once advised me to “Fight until you puke.” I don’t recommend going to that extreme, because the people who have to pack up your tent for you and drive you home may not continue to be your pit crew afterwards. However, I do advocate for pushing yourself to fight “Just one more set of pickups.” Building your endurance and stamina is a Thing. And, in my experience, sometimes I do my best fighting when I think I’m to exhausted to fight. Maybe it’s that my expectations are low and I don’t get wound up with anxiety then, but I have pulled off some amazing moves when I was just trying to make it through the fatigue. When that happens, I walk away with new respect for my own abilities and *that* is a great way to build confidence.
- Think of yourself as an Athlete. Taking time to beef up my athletic abilities has helped me to use my fencing skills better. Whatever technique I want to do, I can do it faster and more accurately when my arms are strong (so do your pushups, everyone). I can get out of a dangerous situation faster if my legs are strong (Squats and Deadlifts, ya'll!). I can practice longer, more frequently, if my cardiovascular system is in good condition (squats and deadlifts, but faster). But also, learning how to cross-train and work out has taught me some *skills* that I did not have before, such as discipline, focus, and confidence in my own abilities. So, is it the stronger muscles that make me better or is it the skills I built while I was lifting weights? Who cares, just start manipulating your schedule and daily life habits to be more athletically focused. Future you will thank the you that made this change. (Also see: https://www.facebook.com/notes/valkyrie-bootcamp-discussion-group/how-do-your-surroundings-influence-your-fitness/218469785510606/)
Gia
Here are Tia Gia’s Handy Mental Game/Confidence Hacks:
- Mindfulness Meditations. I use the app "Headspace" and highly recommend it. Over time this has allowed my brain to perceive a fight as it is happening, as if it's slow work, so I can actually see and remember what happened. That lets me walk off the field saying, "I stayed alive a really long time and hit five great parries, but in the end I could not fight my opponent's opening;" which is different than walking away saying, "Yep. John killed me. again. thought he would."
- Daily drills. Even just ten minutes of sword work per day, at home alone, made me feel more confident. I could walk into a tournament going "I know what I have practiced and I know the practice is fresh. If you put me in a situation where I need to (do this move), I know I can do it better than that couch-potato over there." Side benefit: Ten minutes a day will also boost your skills and abilities, and that will also lead to better results on the field, which will in turn, make you more confident . . .
- Watching video of my own fights. You'd be amazed how much of our own skills we ignore or overlook because we spend our whole bout worried about the outcome. Watching from the side you will see where you looked awesome and what you did well. You might even start to notice that you might have won more fights if your opponents had called the shots you hit them with . . .
- Rephrasing Self-Talk. Again, with the video thing. I used to walk off the field and say "I lost, I suck." but now I can go back and watch a video and say, "I almost had that one. My point was just two inches too far to the left to get his face! That's point control and I can FIX that. Next time, I'll kick that fighter's butt!" One of our Camp Rules is No Negative Self Talk. Pay attention to the feedback you give yourself and make a concerted effort to make it all positive or effective.
- Faking it. I walk onto the field with a swagger. I have a salute that makes me look like I can't wait to clobber someone. When my pairings are announced, I act excited and thrilled to be given a chance to fight this other person, no matter who it is. "I get to fight DUKE Hrafn? In front of an Audience? HELL YES!" (Over time, this has changed my mindset and now I really DO feel excited about certain pairings.) Sancha Galindo likens this to role-playing a confident character who is a badass fighter. Master Robin of Gilwell says, "Just ask yourself, what would Errol Flynn do in this situation, and then do that." There’s also this TED Talk: https://youtu.be/phcDQ0H_LnY
- Write stuff down. Every time something cool happens, write it down. Keep a running list of all the cool things that you've done. Re-read it before each practice and tournament. Keep adding to it. FOREVER.
- Stop hanging out with Assholes. If there is a person who consistently makes you feel bad about yourself, stop hanging out with them. I have a friend I love dearly, but I cannot be around him during tournaments because he says shit like “Ugh, that guy. even YOU could take him, Gia.” Instead, I hang out with the people who say things like “Whoa! You got so close to stabbing him in the face! You were off by two inches, but Damn, next time you’ll punk him!”
- Fight until you Can’t. Master Robert McPharlan once advised me to “Fight until you puke.” I don’t recommend going to that extreme, because the people who have to pack up your tent for you and drive you home may not continue to be your pit crew afterwards. However, I do advocate for pushing yourself to fight “Just one more set of pickups.” Building your endurance and stamina is a Thing. And, in my experience, sometimes I do my best fighting when I think I’m to exhausted to fight. Maybe it’s that my expectations are low and I don’t get wound up with anxiety then, but I have pulled off some amazing moves when I was just trying to make it through the fatigue. When that happens, I walk away with new respect for my own abilities and *that* is a great way to build confidence.
- Think of yourself as an Athlete. Taking time to beef up my athletic abilities has helped me to use my fencing skills better. Whatever technique I want to do, I can do it faster and more accurately when my arms are strong (so do your pushups, everyone). I can get out of a dangerous situation faster if my legs are strong (Squats and Deadlifts, ya'll!). I can practice longer, more frequently, if my cardiovascular system is in good condition (squats and deadlifts, but faster). But also, learning how to cross-train and work out has taught me some *skills* that I did not have before, such as discipline, focus, and confidence in my own abilities. So, is it the stronger muscles that make me better or is it the skills I built while I was lifting weights? Who cares, just start manipulating your schedule and daily life habits to be more athletically focused. Future you will thank the you that made this change. (Also see: https://www.facebook.com/notes/valkyrie-bootcamp-discussion-group/how-do-your-surroundings-influence-your-fitness/218469785510606/)
Gia
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